And Stop Chasing Things We Don’t Have the Energy For
Standing by the rosemary bush and watching the bees collecting pollen has become a part of my morning ritual. I am finally able to leave the house after three months of being cooped up. The brokenness is slowly being pieced back together.
The birds and the bees have become an unexpected support system. They show up with their beautiful buzzing and chirping and allow me the space to breathe. And to ease me back into being out in the world.
I’ve learned that the older bees are being trusted with the duty to collect pollen. It makes sense because being out here in the world is where we can be most vulnerable to life’s unexpected happenings. One minute we’re roaming around carefree and the next we are stricken down and left to fend for our wholeness.
What fascinates me most about the bees is that each one serves a purpose. They all have individual roles to play in their community. We human beings are not much different. As Katherine May stated in her book Wintering, we humans play our part in the world too. I agree with May’s suggestion on how some of us are made to impact the masses whilst others are here to keep the cogwheels turning. Neither is superior or inferior to the other. Rather, both are equally as important and complement each other.
This idea made me look at my role from a new perspective. As my eyes followed the bee flying from one blossom to the next, I realized that my existence does indeed matter. My existence makes an impact. It may not be how I imagined, but even the simple act of planting a rosemary bush in my garden has left a footprint on the lives of the bees that somehow find their way here.
I’ve been so stuck in the mentality of having to trust and surrender to what I am meant for, that the whole thing has become about an outcome, an end-goal.
I have been telling myself to embrace the here and now, but in reality, I have been feeling frustrated and confused, and impatient. Following this old pattern has led me to chase things I don’t have the energy for.
But the great thing is that when you focus on something long enough, you start to notice the unhealthy patterns. That’s when you know it is time to pause for a second and realign with your truth.
As I was journaling and checking in on my First Quarter Moon, it dawned on me that maybe the whole trust and surrender thing is not about an end-goal. There is no end goal. There’s only the journey we’re on. Maybe instead of chasing that imaginary destination, we need to embrace the pursuit, lean into our soul whispers, and see where they take us.
Maybe trusting and surrendering is not equivalent to throwing up our hands and giving up and accepting whatever is will always be, but rather, maybe it is about us trusting our inner authority and surrendering to whatever life brings us.
And knowing that we’re strong enough to face whatever is thrown on our path, and trusting that it is all part of our journey to wherever we need to get to.
Trust and surrender do not mean that we can’t dream or set goals. What it means is to show up with flexibility, to stop being so rigid, and to stop obsessing over an outcome.
Maybe we need to be more like bees: instead of obsessing whether we’ll find some pollen or not, we fly from blossom to blossom and embrace whatever we find. And if one blossom comes up empty, we’ll fly on to discover what else is out there.
We don’t always get what we want but we get what we need. I can’t remember who said it but they are right. I have yet to get one thing I wanted out of this year but I have gotten exactly what my soul needed. And that discovery has opened up a whole new path.
How can you loosen the grip on your life and surrender to the flow of it instead?