She stared into the live view of her mobile camera.
Gazing back at her was a face she’d seen before.
Somehow, she looked different, unfamiliar.
The past month had cracked open her soul and left all the gooeyness of best intentions lying on the floor.
Her facial features no longer matched up with her insides.
Everything looked the same on the surface but something new was bubbling underneath it all.
The accident had disconnected the body from the soul. Or maybe it had finally reconnected the two?
How does one go on when the only thing to do is to live in the here and now?
Her life as it was seized to exist within a blink of an eye.
Her old life no longer felt worthy of her return.
What if these breaks are here to redirect us?
What if we’re not supposed to go back to the same place?
What if disconnections happen for our benefit, forcing us to take a diversion from the life that was not meant for us?
The new her is slowly emerging.
Or maybe it is the old her she had lost along the way that is reemerging?
I see her finally stepping out of her hiding.
I see her stretching out and taking up space.
The scars are now her compass.
The pain reminds her of her strength.
The past is nothing but a lesson learned.
I see her piecing it all together.
It’s her. It’s her beginning. It’s the rest of her life.
I see it now, the path she was never meant to tread.
This piece was first published in Being Known on MEDIUM on April 2. In hindsight, it was such a dark place, such a dark time of my life. But it was also the most transformative - a process that is still very much ongoing. That piece of writing was the emergence of the self I knew I wanted to embody, and am more and more embodying. Let this empower you to lean into your struggle and emerge as a truer version of who you are.