If you didn't post it, did it even happen?

In an age where everyone has an opinion and a means to share it with the world, how do we not lose ourselves in the noise?

Photo by Yoann Boyer on Unsplash

We live in a society that takes breaks from social media. We know all the negative effects and yet we’re addicted to it, to the mindless scroll that distracts us from the real issues. We’re afraid to miss out and stand in the darkness. So we keep on scrolling and double-tapping and refreshing.

I took my very first social media break last October. Having spent 3 years building my online wellness business had left me burnt out, deflated, confused and utterly lost. I’d spent those years chasing a dream that I thought was mine. Turns out it was someone else’s dream.

When I decided to take that leap into starting my own wellness business, I truly thought that this was what I wanted. I’d made myself believe that my purpose was to help women like me who’d always struggled with their weight, who’d always hated their bodies and battled with low self-esteem. I had also fallen in love with the idea of what building this dream could lead me to. And for a long time, I forced myself to believe all the stuff I’d put on my vision board. I was also fixated on creating content for the likes and follows which I thought would lead me to sales.

That was a big fat lie!

And the worst part is that I knew it but I was too scared to speak out my own truth. I’d made myself act the part of a wellness coach. But every so often a doubtful thought would creep into my mind. And I’d just brush it under the rug, too scared to actually picture what it would feel like to give it all up.

I was afraid of what people would think of me if I quit. I was scared to admit that this is actually not what I had envisioned my life to be like. I could not see the bigger picture. I could no longer see myself pursue this “dream” I had. Because it was never my dream to begin with. But I was just too darn scared to admit it, to myself and to others.

Letting it go in my head equated to failure and doing it publicly just felt so damn humiliating. But in reality, once it was done, it opened the door to something that feels so much more natural, so much more authentic, so much more me, so much more valuable and way more meaningful and joyous than the pursuit of that wellness business ever did.

On a random Tuesday, I came home from an emotionally draining day at my day job and all I wanted to do was to crawl into bed. And that’s exactly what I did. Instead of my usual hang on IG which I equated to building my business, I curled up in bed and watched Bake Off. Wednesday rolled around and I had no desire to face the digital world. And before I knew it, I’d been off social media for an entire month.

I replaced the hours on social media with knotting fiber art.

I replaced the content creation with journaling.

I replaced mindless scrolling with reading books that stimulated my mind.

I replaced seeking connection out there with laughing harder with my partner.

I replaced the need to seek external validation and acceptance with sitting uncomfortably with my own boredom and my own shadows.

And in it all, I found my truth. I found my voice. I found my stillness. I found the courage to quit my wellness business, leave social media and embrace connection in different ways.

This is an invitation to surrender to the nudges your inner knowing is giving you. These gentle nudges will lead you down your path.

This path is your journey to your True Self — the self that trusts their inner knowing regardless of what the society tells you; the self that no longer seeks that external validation but instead knows that they are worthy regardless of the follower count; the self that is not afraid to let go of things that no longer serve you; the self that knows there’s something big and magical out there waiting for you.

The self that no longer dims her light in order to fit into the noise but rather speaks her own truth even if that means sitting on her own for a while.

This piece was originally published in Know Thyself, Heal Thyself.